Picking the right partner: in training and in life

Choosing the right training partner is a tricky task. While we often enjoy the company of others while on a long ride, or run- sometimes that other person can derail us from our own training goals. Racing up every steep hill, pushing the pace by running or riding one step out in front and sprinting to every sign can be excellent on hard days- and detrimental on recovery days. If your training partner is not on the same page as you, they may be hurting, rather than helping you reach your fitness goals.
There is comfort in numbers, particularly on days when you do not want to get out of bed or off of the couch- and your training partner drags you out- but if that same partner has their own agenda for the ride or run that day- they may have to do their own thing- because the most important thing is that you follow your own plan. Rest days, recovery days and killer intervals are all essential components of a successful training program. Don’t let your training partner convince you otherwise, that you don’t really need a day off on the last warm day of the year- you do need it. Enjoy the day in other ways- go for a walk, read a book in a park, but on rest days rest, on easy days ride easy and on interval days let your partner push you- push each other- that is why you have one another.
As with workout partners, boyfriends or girlfriends are a crucial part of life for most of us, but sharing the company of someone who does not support your goals can be detrimental to your training (as well as to your relationship). In trying to understand how Ironman couples negotiate the demands of the sport, their relationships and their lives, Juergens, a doctoral student at Texas Tech University conducted interviews of triathlete couples, both husband and wife who were competing in the 2005 Ironman world championships. Juergens found that triathlon couples shared more egalitarian roles- where both partners shared daily chores, household duties and child rearing responsibilities- and both partners equally prioritized their training time- both the husband’s and the wives runs, rides and swims were equally important. When possible, triathlete couples opted to train together. Sharing a long ride or run- or driving to the pool together, was time spent together- time spent sharing a similar passion. In the same vain- vacations were often organized around races, and took the place of racing- which was equally agreeable and desirable for both parties. This strong component of compatibility enabled the dual Ironman household to not only survive but to thrive.
Picking a partner is crucial- whether in intimate relationships or training partners- it is important that those you share your training and your life with support the goals you have set out for yourself. This support may take the shape of having an ice bath ready when you stumble home, food on the table, water bottles washed, pumping up your tires- or merely making sure that the time you have set out to train does not get filled with errands, appointments or other obligations. And as with training partners, your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend need to recognize the importance of recovery days and what that means outside of workouts. Spending the entire day before a marathon touring a new city is not a conducive activity for optimal race day performance. One athlete of mine spent the day before her big race at the zoo with her kids. Again not the best way to share time with your family and race well. You do not have to be incapacitated on the couch with your legs up and have your partner wait on you, instead share a movie- or a healthy meal or hang out at a coffee shop on days when you need to recover. There are plenty of activities where individuals can spend time with their loved ones and still ensure optimal recovery between training sessions. The key to this, again, is having a supportive partner who is willing to recognize and accommodate the needs of endurance athletes both while training and recovering.

Fun facts from my own research:
41% of the people I have surveyed agreed that their pattern of exercise interferes with their social life.
92% of individuals who have completed at least one Ironman event feel like a better person after exercising.